Blinded By Faith, Swallowed By History: A Word from Your Editor
David Holub [view]
Essays by Charlie Geer, Tracy Golden and Daniel Asa Rose
Stories by Jenny Allen, Daniel Brauer, John Henry Fleming, Josh Logue, Andrew Nicholls, Joe Plicka, Ryan Shoemaker, George Singleton and Lisa Wilde
Poetry by Laura Ramos and David Galef
Comics by Pat McKay
Photos by Pete Duval
When my wife Concha and I leave Spain to visit friends and family in the United States, it occasionally falls on me, the Americano, to clear up intercultural confusion. If Concha now understands that a "dry county" has nothing to do with meteorology, if she no longer thinks a "Gun and Knife Show" is a kind of circus act, with ladies in sequined leotards pinwheeling around while mustachioed gents fire away, it's because she has an inside man.
: "The Faculty Meeting"
Ah. The faculty meeting. Occuring bi-monthly, it's an hour that often bleeds into two, where the mundane details of running a department are hashed out by certain older men who brandish their busyness like the kente cloth they wear to their Peoples of the World lectures.
Daniel Asa Rose
: "Maniac Sex Murderer! Or How I Got Raped and Dismembered (Almost) By Notorious Serial Killer Ted Bundy (Maybe), As Told To My Skeptical Wife"
"Happy Hitchhikers Remembrance Day!" I announce to my wife. "The night is cold. The kid is down. Perfect time to tell you how as a hitchhiker I may have been almost tortured and savagely killed by the maniac sex murderer Ted Bundy."
: "Christian Mingle"
The fact that you clicked on my "handle" without my having included a photo of myself tells me that you are almost certainly the kind of person God has planned for me—a person who likewise feels that photographs are Satan's handiwork, leading to vainglorious sins such as personal grooming.
: "The Wise Man"
To the man who mourned a loss of kin, the Wise Man said: "It is better to have a great many dead relatives, than none alive." And the man was better and said: "Thank you, O Wise Man, thank you!". . . And when the four-armed man bemoaned: "Why have I four arms when others have two?" The Wise Man said: "Sir, if you did not, what would become of the other ten fingers?"
John Henry Fleming
: "The Day of Our Lord's Triumph"
Having thus satisfied the ache in His belly, Our Lord moved His body to the sofa, and there sat upon its soft leather skin, for which the cattle did sacrifice their lives to increase Our Lord's comfort. Our Lord expelled the bubbling gasses from His stomach and placed His feet upon the coffee table, an act so often persecuted by his worldly parents.
: "This is what college is."
Your Xbox is unplugged, you're almost out of toothpaste, you haven't done laundry in weeks. It will be harder to find fresh socks today than it was yesterday. Keep the 1 pint 6 oz beer bottles and 12 oz cans you threw into the space between your bed and the wall covered so your roommate won't think you're an alcoholic.
: "Saving Tuna Mikey"
How badly injured was he? And, should I chance to save him, what of his pot of gold? (My wench and wenchling having accused me these two crusades past of coming home unseemly plunder-light.) What are your wounds? I asked. It's my fucking leg, quoth he. But in a tiny squeezy voice, like coming from one of those bathtub ducks.
: "Police Report from Florida North Region Outpost 32086"
According to the advertising record, known to be—along with medical records, political donor reports and television ratings—one of the most complete sources of raw data springing from 21st century America, Chocolate Vanilla Swirl was actually discontinued as a Jell-O flavor in the early 2060s. What the reporting officer is probably referring to is the flavor ChocoCream Explosion.
: "The New Masculinity"
And just as we're piling into the minivan, that shadowed figure steps from the gray pick-up truck across the street. It's Nolan!: 6'5", steel-toed boots, muddy jeans, fluorescent orange construction vest, hardhat, three-day stubble. He wields an axe. "You stay the hell away from my wife," he shouts, stabbing the axe handle in my direction. "You hear me, Donaldson?"
Some time after I'd moved away, my father swore, he would pick up the phone to call someone only to find that person already on the other line, and then when he hung up, the telephone would ring. He'd fill up premium unleaded into his tank, get a mile down the road, and run out of gas. My father put worms on his hooks and caught nothing; then, in desperation, threw in a naked bronze Eagle Claw and immediately pulled out a palm-sized bream.
: "From Yo, Miss"
Yo, Miss is a graphic novel based on my experiences at John V. Lindsay Wildcat Academy in New York City, the second-chance high school where I've taught for the past 16 years. I wanted to create a story that shows these teens as I saw them—in all their beauty, intelligence, suffering, humor, and humanity (and also when they were really pains in the behind...)
See an excerpt of the excerpt [here]
: "Nearer My God To Thee," "401(k-9)"
: "Fig. 1. Steve Jobs with Lantern wet memorial." "Fig. 2. Legos® Rancheros." "Fig. 3. Herbal wellness buildings circa 1856." "Fig. 4. Boeing 787 Wingless." "Fig. 5. Restroom Drone." "Fig. 6. America Coffin."
: "Blow-Out-Sale," "Missing Chicken," "To: Whoever Took My Little Bunny Rabbit," "Muscle Man"