November 9, 2013

This is what college is.

By Josh Logue

This story also appears in Issue 4
College is massaging your eyebrows with the backs of your wrists in your dorm room with the lights out at 10:55 in the morning. Elbows on the notebook on the desk in front of you, Starbucks grande iced latte to your left, stack of short story anthologies to your right (Rick Moody, J.D. Salinger, Aimee Bender, others). Your Xbox is unplugged, you’re almost out of toothpaste, you haven’t done laundry in weeks. It will be harder to find fresh socks today than it was yesterday.

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November 8, 2013

From Yo, Miss

By Lisa Wilde

See the first page of the Yo, Miss excerpt that appears in Issue 4.

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November 8, 2013

Nearer My God To Thee

By Laura Ramos

Read the poem that inspired the Issue 4 cover.

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September 11, 2013

The Eightfold Path

By Thomas Mundt

I had abandoned hope, as well as my shirt, and turned to the teachings of The Vedas when I came upon The Eightfold Path.  Its proprietor, a gentleman by the name of He Who Lies In Waiting In The Brambles, was opening a new facility across from the Denny’s on Veterans Parkway, offering Montessori-style instruction and, on Wednesdays, a complimentary continental breakfast consisting of found roughage and freeze-dried acai berries.  Admission was rolling and contingent upon the clearance of a non-refundable, non-Traveler’s check in the amount of $250, made payable to CASH.

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May 16, 2013

Open Mic Announcements

By Daniel Nester

The following open mic announcements will be followed by an open mic.
Next week’s open mic will feature an open mic, and will also be preceded by an open mic and followed by an open mic.
There’s been some changes at the Friday open mic.

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March 13, 2013

The Gymnast

By Sophie Kipner
Listen to Issue 3 contributor Sophie Kipner read her story "The Gymnast" backed by music written and performed by Michael Cera.
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November 5, 2012

I Believe This Was the End of My Clothing Catalogue Copywriting Job

By Dan Kennedy

Page 3: Swiss Mountaineer Cashmere Sweater
Remember the 1992 Swiss expedition to Mt. Everest? Got within 660 ft. of the summit, with a head full of Gin, no less. Yes, you are classic. Like our favorite sweater for thirty years running; soft but tough, current and timeless, stripped to the essentials. Everyone at the top of that mountain was missing the point, if you ask me.

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March 16, 2012


By Simon Rich
Our sensei showed up late to karate class with a black eye and a bloody nose.
"What happened?" someone asked.
"I got attacked," he said.
"By warriors?"
"No," he said. "Just some punk kids. They didn't even take my money. They just wanted to have a laugh I guess."
He sat down on the mat and rested his head against the wall.
"God," he said. "I feel so powerless."
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Issue 4

Order your digital copy at the Issue 4 page or:

Add to Cart

Kugelmass goes digital (but can't quit print)

We've been hounded since Day 1 to produce a digital version of your most beloved literary humor publication and it only took four issues to do it. All we're asking for it is $5, which basically means not Upsizing your Value Meal, what, three times?

What you'll find in Issue 4:
  • Essays by Charlie Geer, Tracy Golden, Daniel Asa Rose
  • Stories by Jenny Allen, Daniel Brauer, John Henry Fleming, Josh Logue, Andrew Nicholls, Joe Plicka, Ryan Shoemaker, George Singleton and Lisa Wilde
  • Poetry by Laura Ramos and David Galef
  • Comics by Pat McKay and photos by Pete Duval
  • Editor David Holub discusses two things this issue has in common: Digital publishing and Religion

If print is still your thing, which is cool with us, order that at the Issue 4 page or:

Print orders available to ship Nov. 29

Web exclusives!
Read the poem by Issue 4 contributor Laura Ramos that inspired the Issue 4 cover [here].
Read Josh Logue's story This is what college is.[here].