This story also appears in Issue 4
College is massaging your eyebrows with the backs of your wrists in your dorm room with the lights out at 10:55 in the morning. Elbows on the notebook on the desk in front of you, Starbucks grande iced latte to your left, stack of short story anthologies to your right (Rick Moody, J.D. Salinger, Aimee Bender, others). Your Xbox is unplugged, you’re almost out of toothpaste, you haven’t done laundry in weeks. It will be harder to find fresh socks today than it was yesterday.
I had abandoned hope, as well as my shirt, and turned to the teachings of The Vedas when I came upon The Eightfold Path. Its proprietor, a gentleman by the name of He Who Lies In Waiting In The Brambles, was opening a new facility across from the Denny’s on Veterans Parkway, offering Montessori-style instruction and, on Wednesdays, a complimentary continental breakfast consisting of found roughage and freeze-dried acai berries. Admission was rolling and contingent upon the clearance of a non-refundable, non-Traveler’s check in the amount of $250, made payable to CASH.
The following open mic announcements will be followed by an open mic.
Next week’s open mic will feature an open mic, and will also be preceded by an open mic and followed by an open mic.
There’s been some changes at the Friday open mic.
Page 3: Swiss Mountaineer Cashmere Sweater
Remember the 1992 Swiss expedition to Mt. Everest? Got within 660 ft. of the summit, with a head full of Gin, no less. Yes, you are classic. Like our favorite sweater for thirty years running; soft but tough, current and timeless, stripped to the essentials. Everyone at the top of that mountain was missing the point, if you ask me.
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