pertinent
January 5, 2014

Kugelmass = On Hold

Kugelmass is currently on hiatus from issue production, as it comes to terms with a few ominous realities. In the meantime, we'll continue to publish some work on the web, just to, you know, keep it real.


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funny
November 9, 2013

This is what college is.

By Josh Logue

This story also appears in Issue 4
College is massaging your eyebrows with the backs of your wrists in your dorm room with the lights out at 10:55 in the morning. Elbows on the notebook on the desk in front of you, Starbucks grande iced latte to your left, stack of short story anthologies to your right (Rick Moody, J.D. Salinger, Aimee Bender, others). Your Xbox is unplugged, you’re almost out of toothpaste, you haven’t done laundry in weeks. It will be harder to find fresh socks today than it was yesterday.


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funny
November 8, 2013

From Yo, Miss

By Lisa Wilde

See the first page of the Yo, Miss excerpt that appears in Issue 4.


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funny
November 8, 2013

Nearer My God To Thee

By Laura Ramos

Read the poem that inspired the Issue 4 cover.


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critical
October 7, 2013

The Sopranos. . .Is That Supposed To Be Funny?

By Catherine Nicholas

Mob-mythology just seemed so unappealingly macho, so solemn and self-important.  The reverent way people talked about it made me roll my eyes.  I figured I pretty much got the gist.  What I didn’t know until I finally watched the whole series was that yes, it’s a great and possibly the greatest, but it’s also one of the funniest shows ever made. 


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funny
September 11, 2013

The Eightfold Path

By Thomas Mundt

I had abandoned hope, as well as my shirt, and turned to the teachings of The Vedas when I came upon The Eightfold Path.  Its proprietor, a gentleman by the name of He Who Lies In Waiting In The Brambles, was opening a new facility across from the Denny’s on Veterans Parkway, offering Montessori-style instruction and, on Wednesdays, a complimentary continental breakfast consisting of found roughage and freeze-dried acai berries.  Admission was rolling and contingent upon the clearance of a non-refundable, non-Traveler’s check in the amount of $250, made payable to CASH.


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pertinent
August 12, 2013

Submissions open...sort of

Kugelmass is now accepting submissions again, everything except fiction. So send us your essays, your reviews and poems and any visuals you think are funny.
 

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pertinent
June 19, 2013

Kugelmass submissions on hold

It's gotten to that point again, the point where the number of unread submissions demanding attention has become overwhelming for this small and humble staff. So we're going to stop the bleeding and shut down submissions until Fall. We WILL still accept reviews and visuals. Let us know if you find any of this completely unacceptable.


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funny
May 16, 2013

Open Mic Announcements

By Daniel Nester

The following open mic announcements will be followed by an open mic.
Next week’s open mic will feature an open mic, and will also be preceded by an open mic and followed by an open mic.
There’s been some changes at the Friday open mic.


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critical
May 2, 2013

On Auto Tune the News

By Dr. Funny, PhD
Q: What is funny about Auto Tune the News?
A: Dr. Funny is looking especially at Auto Tune #5, his favorite. This is a mashup, which serves to form a political critique as well as one of popular culture and especially media culture. The Gregory Brothers use auto-tune, a program that allows singers to sing on pitch.
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critical
March 20, 2013

Kristen Wiig, Strange Doctor

By Ellen Finnigan
"Comedy is a kind of communication; so a comedian must have an intuitive understanding of the context in which she performs, including the psychological and emotional makeup of her audience. Kristen Wiig was a star from the beginning because she understood her audience and she understood her time. On Saturday nights, I mourn her absence."
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pertinent
critical
March 15, 2013

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

By Dr. Funny, PhD

Dr. Funny is online and loving it. Breaking down the Internet's humor would be a lifetime task (and certainly not a Lifetime movie), one that Dr. Funny hopes to undertake as long as there is an Internet willing to print, er, post, er something written by him. He understands that he is merely writing for himself or perhaps a 42-year-old woman in Idaho. Onto the question:


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funny
March 13, 2013

The Gymnast

By Sophie Kipner
Listen to Issue 3 contributor Sophie Kipner read her story "The Gymnast" backed by music written and performed by Michael Cera.
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pertinent
March 1, 2013

Kugelmass looking for reviews to publish

Kugelmass is looking for essays/reviews to publish online that examine and reflect on humor in our culture. We are looking for reviews of intentionally funny things-stories, characters, movies, shows, etc.- not reviews of non-humorous things written to be funny. In fact, don't even try to be funny for once.
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pertinent
November 27, 2012

Issue 3 decends gently from heaven

In our third installment, we promise no fewer than 26 severe laughs. We promise weeping and heartache and a hint of shame. We promise to offend you. We promise Big Mac coupons if you read every word. We promise that you'll now go by "Hankey." Oh yeah, and we now have poetry. Read excerpts and order here
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funny
November 5, 2012

I Believe This Was the End of My Clothing Catalogue Copywriting Job

By Dan Kennedy

Page 3: Swiss Mountaineer Cashmere Sweater
Remember the 1992 Swiss expedition to Mt. Everest? Got within 660 ft. of the summit, with a head full of Gin, no less. Yes, you are classic. Like our favorite sweater for thirty years running; soft but tough, current and timeless, stripped to the essentials. Everyone at the top of that mountain was missing the point, if you ask me.


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pertinent
funny
March 16, 2012

Sensei

By Simon Rich
Our sensei showed up late to karate class with a black eye and a bloody nose.
"What happened?" someone asked.
"I got attacked," he said.
"By warriors?"
"No," he said. "Just some punk kids. They didn't even take my money. They just wanted to have a laugh I guess."
He sat down on the mat and rested his head against the wall.
"God," he said. "I feel so powerless."
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Back Issues
Issue 4

Order your digital copy at the Issue 4 page or:

Add to Cart


Kugelmass goes digital (but can't quit print)

We've been hounded since Day 1 to produce a digital version of your most beloved literary humor publication and it only took four issues to do it. All we're asking for it is $5, which basically means not Upsizing your Value Meal, what, three times?

What you'll find in Issue 4:
  • Essays by Charlie Geer, Tracy Golden, Daniel Asa Rose
  • Stories by Jenny Allen, Daniel Brauer, John Henry Fleming, Josh Logue, Andrew Nicholls, Joe Plicka, Ryan Shoemaker, George Singleton and Lisa Wilde
  • Poetry by Laura Ramos and David Galef
  • Comics by Pat McKay and photos by Pete Duval
  • Editor David Holub discusses two things this issue has in common: Digital publishing and Religion

If print is still your thing, which is cool with us, order that at the Issue 4 page or:

Print orders available to ship Nov. 29

Web exclusives!
Read the poem by Issue 4 contributor Laura Ramos that inspired the Issue 4 cover [here].
Read Josh Logue's story This is what college is.[here].